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PSYCHOLOGY

Are bad people gaslighting you to believe you’re the bad person?

“Stop letting shitty people dictate how you feel about yourself. Stop letting people who have a long way to go with their personal development hinder your progression.” – Charlotte Freeman.

And for a second, only a second, you thought you had gone mad…

If you’re not careful, an encounter with a Gaslighter will convince you that you are a bad person. Make no mistake: they are only deflecting their own flaws and mistakes onto you. 

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and abuse concentrated on making someone doubt their reality, i.e. denying true conversations or events ever even occurred.

We’re all bad in someone’s story, right? But a Gaslighter convinces the victim that they’re the bad person.

Whilst the Gaslighter talks ill about you to garner sympathy from others and to manipulate any possible onlooker, they’re making sure to keep your vulnerability at bay by isolating you from your allies or anything leading you to a glimpse of sanity.

They’re very good at provoking your inner self-critic. Despite once being confident and positive, their contagious blame-shifting has made even you define your entire persona by your insecurities and mistakes, which causes you to self-destruct and withdraw from every day life.

Do not devalue or define yourself by your bad decisions.

It’s unfair to believe that you deserve to feel worthless when you are more than worthy.

We are allowed to make mistakes and move on from them without being held accountable forever. Mistakes help us grow and evolve; they are lessons. You can’t blame yourself for not knowing back then what you know now.

You are not expected to relive it over and over again – especially a scenario where you’re only apologising for the sake of somebody else’s comfort, and don’t even know what you’re truly apologising for…

Before this person was in your life did you constantly second guess your values, morals, worth, identity, and exceptional qualities ?

Your gut is there to tell you when something is off; it’s not all in your head.

It’s easy to start doubting yourself after you have been spoken to by someone so negative for so long. You’re disconnected. What enjoyment and relief do you ever feel when you’re too busy anticipating the next bad thing; the next rumour; the next nit-picked mistake.

They’ve, just, totally eroded your confidence.

You’re dissecting all the ways you aren’t good enough; picking yourself apart.

It feels like nobody likes you for what you like yourself for because they have Gaslighted you to believe your strengths are your weaknesses, to repress your intelligence, so that you never process their crazy-making, but also so that you never expose them.

Don’t worry about the out-looker’s opinions; you are worth so much more than someone who is incapable of forming their own opinion of you.

It’s important to trust your prominent relationships for they are strong enough not to be influenced by someone so fraudulent.

Be so confident in who you are, that whenever somebody invalid has an invalid opinion of you, that it does not shake you.

Their lack of morals is not a reason to compromise yours. Let them paint you however they need to paint you so that the guilty doesn’t feel so heavy on themselves.

Just imagine; their shock when they see you made it after tying to undermine you; when, they were just intimidated by your potential.

Your thoughts are being mean to you; it is not your fault that others are treating you badly, and it is not your responsibility to live up to their perception of you. Be a good person but don’t spend your time trying to prove it to those who are always going to see you as the illusion in their heads.

Your profound anxiety which stemmed from the state of affairs that you mistakenly wound up in, is convincing you that you are the bad person.

You were made to feel inferior by someone who was deflecting the blame from themselves, it’s easier to deflect blame onto someone who they’ve spoken ill about, and oftentimes, even easier for you to get caught up in it.

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